{"id":2981,"date":"2015-06-24T14:38:45","date_gmt":"2015-06-24T14:38:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/narrativenortheast.com\/?p=2981"},"modified":"2015-06-24T14:38:45","modified_gmt":"2015-06-24T14:38:45","slug":"now-she-can-cope-diane-k-martin","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/narrativenortheast.com\/?p=2981","title":{"rendered":"NOW SHE CAN COPE – Diane K. Martin"},"content":{"rendered":"

Edith walked into the office reception area, lowered her reading glasses, and gave both girls a look. Laurie saw herself through Edith\u2019s eyes: small, too tight khaki mini-skirt, red hair frizzed to an alarming volume. And then there was Alesha: brown skin, medium height, round bottom poured into a royal blue skirt, over which she wore a yellow smock blouse. Her brown hair was tamed into a pageboy, her mouth curved into a smile. A plastic badge on her left breast said Alesha<\/em> and, under that, Jobs for Youth. <\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cHello girls,\u201d chirped Edith. \u201cYou can start by filing these charts. Then open the mail. If it looks important, slip it onto the doctor\u2019s desk. The rest \u2014 everything else \u2014 deposit in the circular file.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIn the what?\u201d asked Alesha.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, you know,\u201d said Edith. \u201cJust toss \u2019em. The drug companies send the doctors samples, but the docs don\u2019t have time.\u201d<\/p>\n

Just then the phone rang. Alesha picked up the shoe-sized black receiver with its shoulder rest. \u201cHullo,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

Edith looked at her over her cheaters, now back on her nose. \u201cSay Doctors\u2019 office.<\/em> \u201d \u201cSay, How may I help you?<\/em> \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDoctors\u2019 office, how may I help you? Yes, all right.\u201d Alesha hung up. \u201cHer name\u2019s Norma Johnston. She jes\u2019 called to break her appointment \u2019cause there\u2019s no way she gonna make it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, no surprise there,\u201d Edith made a face. She flipped through the stack of charts that had been pulled for today\u2019s appointments. \u201cHere, you might as well file hers away too.\u201d<\/p>\n

After Edith\u2019s pumps clicked out of the room, Laurie and Alesha exchanged looks. Laurie opened Norma Johnston\u2019s chart on her lap. The telephone rang again. \u201cHoly cow!\u201d Laurie said, staring at the chart as she picked up the receiver. \u201cDoctors\u2019 office, how may I help you?\u201d The thick file slipped from her lap to the floor as she reached for the appointment book. \u201cYikes,\u201d said Laurie. Alesha tried to catch Norma\u2019s chart and knocked over the wire inbox.<\/p>\n

\u201cCan you hold please?\u201d Laurie asked. She bent to right the basket and pick up its scattered contents, but she and Alesha bent at the same time, and their heads came together. They sat up, rubbing their heads, laughing.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen you two Laurel and Hardys finish yukking it up, maybe you can let us know when Dr. Lehrer is going to show,\u201d said a patient from the waiting room. \u201cI\u2019ve been waiting for a half hour.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe first thing he has open is in three weeks \u2014 that\u2019s Tuesday, July 1st,\u201d said Laurie, into the phone she\u2019d left on hold.<\/p>\n

\u201cFeels like I\u2019ve been waiting three weeks this morning already,\u201d said another patient, coughing dramatically. \u201cA person could die.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean the Doc ain\u2019t even here<\/em>?\u201d said a third.<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry, sorry. I\u2019m sorry I\u2019m late,\u201d said Dr. Lehrer, charging in, addressing all present. Carl Lehrer was a tall, lean man in his early forties, wavy brown hair long enough to fall in his eyes, and he brushed it away habitually with the back of his hand, an action that endeared him to Laurie \u2014 not that she would ever admit the thought. She wasn\u2019t one of those girls who were into doctors, despite having grown up on Casey and Kildare.<\/p>\n

\u201cHospital rounds delayed me. Sorry!\u201d he said again, this time talking just to Laurie. \u201cWho\u2019s the first patient?\u201d He turned the appointment book toward him, then tilted it to avoid the neon glare. \u201cLet\u2019s see: Hilda Schwartz?\u201d He frowned. \u201cI see Norma Johnston has cancelled again. \u201cWe-have-got-to-get-her-in-here,\u201d he said, using his index finger for emphasis, though now he seemed to be talking to no one in particular. \u201cCome along, Mrs. Schwartz,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

\u201cShit,\u201d said Alesha, after the doctor and patient had turned down the corridor to the examining room. She surveyed the file- and envelope-strewn floor. \u201cI thought he was going to be really pissed.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNah,\u201d said Laurie. \u201cEveryone says he\u2019s cool.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah?\u201d Alesha\u2019s eyes were wide. It seemed an unlikely term to apply to a doctor, even one with sideburns. She went back to picking up the charts.<\/p>\n

Laurie said, \u201cYeah this guy I know, went to high school with, you know? He came in for a checkup. Like his draft number was really low. Dr. Lehrer wrote a note for him \u2014 a bum knee, I think.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo shit! That so bad!<\/em> Didn\u2019t even know people would do<\/em> that.\u201d said Alesha. She said nothing for a while. Then she said, \u201cMy boyfriend, he got a 15. He in \u2019Nam now<\/em>.\u201d She\u2019d picked up all the charts by that time and stacked them on top of the file cabinet.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow? He\u2019s in Vietnam now! Wow! Freak me out!\u201d Laurie took some of the charts and started to alphabetize them.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, well. Hey what you want to do with these?\u201d said Alesha slitting open an envelope from the huge pile of mail for Dr. Lehrer and the other three doctors on vacation. She dumped the contents, a handful of baby blue pills, on the green desk blotter.<\/p>\n

\u201cHmm,\u201d said Laurie, her voice low, \u201cI\u2019ve seen some of the ladies grab \u2019em.\u201d<\/p>\n

Alesha shook her head, \u201cI don\u2019t want to know, okay?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, don\u2019t get all uptight. I was just thinking. What\u2019s the difference if I throw them out now or later, right?\u201d Laurie scooped up the pills and transferred them to her fringed leather shoulder bag.<\/p>\n

\u201cI said I don\u2019t want to know,\u201d said Alesha. \u201cOh, here\u2019s that Norma person\u2019s chart,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

Laurie, took the file from her, opening the manila cover of the chart and turning it toward Alesha. \u201cOh you won\u2019t believe<\/em> this,\u201d she said, slapping the chart down on the reception desk.<\/p>\n

\u201cBelieve what?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cChart says this Norma Johnson lady weighs 432 pounds. And that\u2019s the last<\/em> time they weighed her. I bet she isn\u2019t coming in \u2019cause she can\u2019t fit in a Checker cab.\u201d They both started giggling.<\/p>\n

\u201cShit,\u201d said Alesha. \u201cShee-it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI would just kill myself,\u201d said Laurie.<\/p>\n

\u201cNah, you wouldn\u2019t,\u201d said Alesha.<\/p>\n

Laurie immediately felt bad that she said that. \u201cWhat\u2019s your boyfriend\u2019s name?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cTony. Anthony Marshall, Private First Class.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou must miss him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah I miss him a real lot. He is so<\/em> fine<\/em>. You have a boyfriend?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid,\u201d said Laurie.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The next day there was some quiet time before lunch. Alesha would go to lunch first, then Laurie. Edith said that Laurie and Alesha should take turns, so there would be someone manning the desk. \u201cManning\u201d the desk, that<\/em> was a joke, thought Laurie.<\/p>\n

Alesha looked at Laurie, then back to the stack of charts she was alphabetizing. \u201cSay did you, uh,\u201d she lowered her voice, \u201c\u2026did you and the boyfriend \u2026 when you \u2026did you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d said Laurie.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo the nasty, you know?\u201d said Alesha, continuing, before Laurie could answer. \u201cBefore Tony got called up, my mom finds out we\u2019re sleeping together, she throw me out.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBummer! What\u2019d you do? Where\u2019d you go?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cS\u2019okay. I moved in with him!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe has his own place?\u201d asked Laurie. She was relieved that the conversation had moved away from her own non-existent love life.<\/p>\n

\u201cNah, his mom\u2019s place, you know.\u201d The telephone rang again, and Laurie, who was closer, picked it up.<\/p>\n

\u201cDoctor\u2019s-office-how-may-I-help-you?\u201d she said. \u201cOh. Oh, I\u2019m sorry. The doctor is at lunch now. I\u2019ll have him call you back. Yes, I\u2019ll give him the message. Yes.\u201d As she hung up, she made a breathy low whistle. \u201cThat\u2019s her<\/em> again! Norma!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe fat lady? What she want?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe fell down,\u201d said Laurie. It made her sick to think about it, what it would be like to be 432 pounds. But she couldn\u2019t stop thinking about it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat colored girl do<\/em> anything?\u201d Shirley, one of the office ladies asked Laurie.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s okay,\u201d Laurie said. \u201cAnd her name is Alesha.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat \u2019cha got?\u201d Shirley peered at Laurie\u2019s lunch.<\/p>\n

\u201cLettuce and tomato.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHmm, BLT? My favorite! With mayo.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThis is just lettuce, and tomato.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s not a sandwich,\u201d said Shirley. She rolled her eyes. \u201cThat\u2019s a salad.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell,\u201d said Laurie. \u201cIt\u2019s my lunch. I\u2019m on a diet.\u201d She pulled at the pop top of her Fresca and opened her book.<\/p>\n

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<\/p>\n

Summer continued, though it didn\u2019t feel like summer inside the air-conditioned medical group. Sometimes now, Laurie walked down Jerome Avenue during lunch hour, under the shadow of the El. Even in the shadows it was hot, and the garbage smell \u2014 was there another strike? \u2014 was almost unbearable. But it beat eating lunch with the office ladies.<\/p>\n

Actually, Laurie had given up lunch entirely. It was now two days since she\u2019d eaten anything. Her mom wanted to pack her something in the morning, but Laurie said she would just drink a Fresca. Her dad nodded and said if a young lady didn\u2019t watch her figure, no one else would.<\/p>\n

Laurie headed to Darlene\u2019s, a small interior decoration store. She thought she could pass lunch time looking at swatches of paint and wallpaper. Her bedroom in her parents\u2019 house was pink and aqua blue, with gauzy white curtains. She was thinking of a new look, leaning toward purple, a deep shade for the rug and bedspread.<\/p>\n

On the way to Darlene\u2019s, Laurie passed the Baskin-Robbins.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat can I get for you?\u201d said the guy in a white paper cap.<\/p>\n

\u201cOne scoop of Jamocha\u00ae Almond Fudge, sugar cone, please.\u201d Laurie fished out some change to pay for the ice cream and grabbed some paper napkins. The elevated train thundered overhead.<\/p>\n

Laurie continued down the block to Darlene\u2019s. But when she got there, she decided she wasn\u2019t really into looking at swatches this afternoon. She wondered if the ice cream guy would recognize her if she went back. They had lots of customers in the Baskin-Robbins.<\/p>\n

When she finished the second cone, she fund herself at the corner across from the medical group. She looked at her watch. She still had fifteen minutes before lunch ended. What do I care what some dumb ice cream server thinks? she said to herself as she paid for a third Jamocha\u00ae Almond Fudge.<\/p>\n

By the time she got back to work, she felt like throwing up. At least the office was quiet. Alesha was at lunch, and nobody was in the waiting room. She took the stack of mail into her lap, and with a letter opener, sliced open the first envelope over the dull green desk blotter. Beautiful orange and pink capsules rained out. She dropped them into her fringed leather shoulder bag.<\/p>\n

By midsummer, the work day began to seem very long. Alesha had started coming in later and later. Norma Johnston still wasn\u2019t making any of her appointments.<\/p>\n

Brian Jones was found face down in a swimming pool. Apollo 11 landed on the moon. Deejays were talking about some concert supposed to happen in Upstate New York later that summer.<\/p>\n

At the end of July, Dr. Lehrer himself cancelled for a whole week.<\/p>\n

One Friday, Alesha was very late to work. She looked like she had been crying. Laurie wondered if she\u2019d had a fight with her boyfriend. \u201cYou okay?\u201d Laurie asked.<\/p>\n

Alesha didn\u2019t answer. She\u2019d taken to wearing one of the white medical group lab coats that hung behind the office door.<\/p>\n

That day, Laurie decided to forego her walk on Jerome Avenue. In the lunchroom, Edith and Shirley were talking about Dr. Lehrer. \u201cIt\u2019s his wife,\u201d said Edith.<\/p>\n

\u201cBreast cancer,\u201d said Shirley, shaking her head.<\/p>\n

\u201cDouble mastectomy,\u201d they said together.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoly cow,\u201d said Laurie, then: \u201cWait \u2019til I tell Alesha.\u201d<\/p>\n

Laurie could hear herself crunching on her celery in the deep well of silence.<\/p>\n

When Alesha got back from lunch, Laurie told her about Dr. Lehrer. \u201cTha\u2019s sad,\u201d said Alesha. \u201cI seen her photo on the doctor\u2019s desk. She was a real pretty lady.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid Edith tell you they\u2019ve been married for six years?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEdith and Shirley don\u2019 talk to<\/em> me<\/em>. They talk \u2019bout<\/em> me. They want to send me back.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBack?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLet me go. Fire me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c\u2019Cause I\u2019m pregnant and I\u2019m big. You know it, you can say it. Shit.\u201d<\/p>\n

The phone rang. Laurie answered. She needed to find an appointment for someone, but most of the doctors were on vacation. She had to call around, then return the call of the woman with a high fever.<\/p>\n

After she called the patient back, she continued opening the mail. Every three envelopes from a drug company Laurie dumped into the trash; the rest she emptied into her shoulder bag. Now she knew why Alesha wasn\u2019t interested in the diet pills. Laurie motioned vaguely toward Alesha\u2019s belly. \u201cWas that \u2014 was that why you were crying?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cTony don\u2019t want the baby.\u201d<\/p>\n

Laurie thought not having the baby made sense. Maybe Alesha should think about it. Didn\u2019t that girl in her dorm, last year \u2014 Judy \u2014 after the Princeton boyfriend\u2019s visit? And they took up a collection, sent her to Puerto Rico. Her parents never even knew. Alesha could just take some sick days and then work through the rest of the summer.<\/p>\n

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<\/p>\n

Hot, hot, hot. Even inside it was hot. The air conditioner seemed to be on the fritz. Shirley said her son Jonathan was going to drive to that concert that was supposed to happen. She thought he had room for another passenger.<\/p>\n

Laurie might be interested. She took those pills now every day. The pretty green and white capsules: For the \u201cCheater-Eater.\u201d Encourages normal activity. Dispels diet discouragement.<\/em> The candy pink tablets, the bright orange capsules, the purple with orange and white: Puts a curb on appetite and promotes a sense of well-being.<\/em> Still, the khaki miniskirt was out of the question.<\/p>\n

Laurie couldn\u2019t help thinking of the 400-pound lady. She thought of Norma at night, and she couldn\u2019t sleep. She thought about Norma during the day, at work. The image of Norma \u2014 whose chart Laurie had memorized \u2014 loomed in Laurie\u2019s mind. She would try some more pills. No time to be slowed by anxiety,<\/em> lavender tabs. Capsules, half cherry red, half silver: Effective at moderate to severe anxiety with coexisting depression.<\/em> Bright orange capsules: Now she can cope.<\/em><\/p>\n

Meanwhile, Alesha was getting real big. The personnel office had already put Alesha on notice. The medical group would not tolerate her continued tardiness. Her employment was subject to abiding by standards of professionalism and modesty.<\/em> The Jobs for Youth<\/em> program was supposed to transition to part-time, after-school work in the fall. There wouldn\u2019t be any of that now.<\/p>\n

There were whispers \u2014 Edith and Shirley in the lunch room \u2014 that it was only Dr. Lehrer who had saved her job thus far. And Dr. Lehrer had other things on his mind. Sherry, his wife, died from breast cancer the second week in August.<\/p>\n

The next weekend was that big concert. Laurie thought about calling Shirley\u2019s son Jonathan. She kept on thinking about it but decided she was really too fat.<\/p>\n

Alesha didn\u2019t come to work that Monday or Tuesday. Laurie got her phone number from Personnel, saying she\u2019d found Alesha\u2019s wallet. During the lunch hour on Wednesday, she called.<\/p>\n

\u201cMay I speak with Alesha?\u201d asked Laurie to the gruff Who is it?<\/em> on the other end of the phone. \u201cI work with her.\u201d Laurie knew they knew she was white.<\/p>\n

Alesha wasn\u2019t there. Laurie could try this other number.<\/p>\n

\u201cHold on jes\u2019 a bit\u2026\u201d said the voice that answered. Laurie waited for so long, she\u2019d decided they had hung up.<\/p>\n

\u201cHello\u2026\u201d said Alesha\u2019s voice, gravelly and cold.<\/p>\n

\u201cAlesha!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI got it done.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow did you find a doctor?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s them that will do it, you pay \u2019em enough. \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow\u2019re you doing? Was it awful?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI coulda\u2019 died.\u201d Tony\u2019s people kicked her out, but her mom took her back.<\/p>\n

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<\/p>\n

Each day at 5:00 o\u2019clock, Laurie left the murky shadows of the El in her father\u2019s old blood-colored Mercury station wagon for the sun-dappled shade of Westchester. Late on a hot summer\u2019s day toward the end of the summer, Laurie got behind the wheel. She\u2019d taken a handful of the samples that morning, red capsules with hot pink and silver, and later a few creamy green and white capsules and small baby blue pills. There were deep shadows under the Jerome Avenue El, as the station wagon wended its way around the columns.<\/p>\n

It is the dawning of the age of Aquarius<\/em> blasted the radio. Watching a young woman across the street, bending over a baby in a stroller \u2014 but it was an older white lady \u2014 for a second, Laurie lost her sense of distance. The station wagon made a crunch as it collided with a column. The car\u2019s side mirror lay in pieces on the cobblestone.<\/p>\n

\u201cFreakin\u2019 pain in the ass,\u201d Laurie said. She\u2019d have to tell her father. He would report it to his insurance agent.<\/p>\n

Diane Martin’s essays have appeared in Hobble Creek Review and Connotation Press and her poetry has appeared in Field, Zyzzyva, Harvard Review, Narrative, Plume, Rhino, and other journals and anthologies. Her work was included in Best New Poets, has received a Pushcart Special Mention, and won the 2009 poetry prize from Smartish Pace. Her first collection, Conjugated Visits, a National Poetry Series finalist, was published in May 2010 by Dream Horse Press. Her poetry manuscript, Hue and Cry, is seeking a publisher. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Edith walked into the office reception area, lowered her reading glasses, and gave both girls a look. Laurie saw herself through Edith\u2019s eyes: small, too tight khaki mini-skirt, red hair frizzed to an alarming volume. And then there was Alesha: brown skin, medium height, round bottom poured into a royal blue skirt, over which she [&hellip<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2889,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[41,134],"class_list":["post-2981","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-prose","tag-art","tag-art-henry-rousseau"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/narrativenortheast.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2981","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/narrativenortheast.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/narrativenortheast.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/narrativenortheast.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/narrativenortheast.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2981"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/narrativenortheast.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2981\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3005,"href":"https:\/\/narrativenortheast.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2981\/revisions\/3005"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/narrativenortheast.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2889"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/narrativenortheast.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2981"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/narrativenortheast.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2981"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/narrativenortheast.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2981"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}