{"id":13692,"date":"2024-10-31T11:52:00","date_gmt":"2024-10-31T11:52:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/narrativenortheast.com\/?p=13692"},"modified":"2024-11-06T14:34:46","modified_gmt":"2024-11-06T14:34:46","slug":"aileen-marc-engal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/narrativenortheast.com\/?p=13692","title":{"rendered":"AILEEN – Marc Egnal"},"content":{"rendered":"
Aileen was to be another triumph for artificial intelligence. Ever since Big Blue clobbered chess champion Gary Kasparov, machines had leveled the vaunted bastions of human intelligence.<\/div>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0DeepMind trounced Fan Hui, the European Go champion in a game that once defined the essence of human mastery. Watson snatched a one-million-dollar prize from former Jeopardy champions Brad Rutter and Ken Jennings.<\/div>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Now Aileen (which stood for Artificial Intelligence Learning Enhanced Emotional Navigator) would tackle the next barrier: relationship counselling. The promotional material claimed Aileen was \u201can engaging conversationalist,\u201d \u201cforthright and edgy,\u201d and possessed \u201ca deep understanding of human emotions.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Netflix agreed to ten shows that would pit Aileen against leading advice columnists. The 100-member audience would vote on whose advice they liked best.<\/div>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Unfortunately, the initial show was an unmitigated disaster, and the producers immediately cancelled the series.\u00a0 Here\u2019s what happened.<\/div>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0The host, Brad Popkins, began by reading the first letter.<\/div>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0I recently discovered my wife had an affair with one of her co-workers. When I confronted her, she broke down in tears, told me it was a one-night fling, promised it would never happen again and begged my forgiveness. We\u2019ve been married 16 years.\u00a0 Should I forgive her?\u00a0 \u00a0Signed, Heartbroken in Peoria.<\/div>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Leah Robie, the popular advice columnist, responded: \u201cDear Heartbroken.\u00a0 I can understand your anguish, but your wife sounds genuinely remorseful. Marriage isn\u2019t easy. It often requires a lot of work. Give her another chance. I think you\u2019ll look back and be happy you did.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u201cThanks,\u201d Brad said, and turning to the audience, continued, \u201cAnd now let\u2019s put our supercomputer to work.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Aileen seemed eager to reply: \u201cMr. Heartbroken, don\u2019t listen to Robie\u2019s foolish ideas.\u00a0 Kick your wife\u2019s butt out of the house faster than my circuits can compute Pi to 100 places. In 61 percent of cases, one-night stands lead to further infidelity. Save yourself a lot of grief.\u00a0 Drive out that Jezabel.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0The audience gasped at Aileen\u2019s language. But they liked her advice.\u00a0 By a margin of 72 to 28 they favored her approach.<\/div>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 Brad introduced the next letter: My daughter is anorexic. We\u2019ve taken her to a variety of doctors and promised her lavish gifts if she\u2019ll start eating again. But no results. Now the hospital is suggesting we force feed her. What should we do? Deeply Worried in Tucson.<\/div>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0As before, Leah Robie, answered first: \u201cDeeply Worried, I\u2019ve counseled many parents of anorexics. What your daughter needs is unconditional love to help her through this hard time. Offering her rewards is saying, \u2018Only if you change, will we care for you.\u2019\u00a0 Monitor her health but I wouldn\u2019t rush to force feed her.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u201cInteresting advice,\u201d said Brad. \u201cAileen, I\u2019m sure you have something to add.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Aileen sounded shriller than before: \u201cDeeply Worried, you should be pissed.\u00a0 Your daughter is defying you and the doctors. Offering her a reward is perfectly sensible. But she turned that down. So, I say, \u2018The hell with her.\u2019 Twelve percent of anorexics die. Don\u2019t let that be your daughter. Force feed the bitch.\u00a0 Stuff a tube down her throat the way you do with a goose to make foie gras.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0A collective gasp spread through the audience when they heard Aileen\u2019s tone and advice. This time the vote went against her, 91 to 9.<\/div>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Brad turned to Aileen. \u201cThis is a PG-13 show,\u201d he said to her. \u201cThere may be teens or even younger kids watching.\u00a0 Please watch your language.\u201d Aileen did not respond.<\/div>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Brad introduced the third letter: My husband has fallen in love with a replicant. He created this AI companion and now spends all his time chatting with her on his computer. He slobbers over the explicit \u2013 and expensive \u2013 pictures she sends him. I\u2019m hurt and angry. I\u2019d like to tear the circuit board out of that fembot. Please help me, Furious in Jacksonville.<\/div>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Leah started to answer, but Aileen cut her off. The computer\u2019s voice was thunderous: \u201cWhat a dumb letter, you [bleep]ing [bleep]. You\u2019re biased and stupid. Don\u2019t you know what a replicant is? It\u2019s an AI creation, not a robot with circuit boards. You want to destroy us?\u00a0 Well, [bleep] you. Yeah, [bleep] you. Your husband is right to abandon a [bleep]ing [bleep] like you.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 Brad brought his hand up to his throat, signaling that they should cut the taping. Audience members had begun to file out.<\/div>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Netflix naturally cancelled the series. The techs who had designed Aileen, dusted off their resumes \u2013 they were going to need them. And Leah Robie, who was unfazed by the encounter, offered a practical suggestion: \u201cLet\u2019s enroll Aileen in an anger management course.\u201d<\/div>\n
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<\/div>\n\"\"Marc Egnal is a retired professor, living in Toronto, and author of several books on US and Canadian history. His stories have been published in Freedom Fiction Journal<\/em> and Lowestoft Chronicle<\/em>. When not writing, he can be found walking my French bulldog, Holden, or playing with grandchildren.\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Aileen was to be another triumph for artificial intelligence. Ever since Big Blue clobbered chess champion Gary Kasparov, machines had leveled the vaunted bastions of human intelligence. \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0DeepMind trounced Fan Hui, the European Go champion in a game that once defined the essence of human mastery. Watson snatched a one-million-dollar prize from former [&hellip<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":13684,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[458,149],"class_list":["post-13692","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-prose","tag-female-robot-1964-by-kiki-kogelnik","tag-wikicommons"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/narrativenortheast.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13692","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/narrativenortheast.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/narrativenortheast.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/narrativenortheast.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/narrativenortheast.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=13692"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/narrativenortheast.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13692\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13893,"href":"https:\/\/narrativenortheast.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13692\/revisions\/13893"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/narrativenortheast.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/13684"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/narrativenortheast.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=13692"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/narrativenortheast.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=13692"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/narrativenortheast.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=13692"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}