Monica heard a strange sound while preparing for her grade 11 history class. She was
sitting in her classroom, the students\u2019 desks still empty. There was a clattering, an
incessant tapping, at the bay of windows to her right. She looked over but saw
nothing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Outside, a man was tossing pebbles at the class window, trying to attract the teacher\u2019s
attention. He was of average height and rather hefty and looked a little scruffy. No
students were in the classroom yet, it was early. The man wanted to speak with
Monica. Urgently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She finally located the noise and opened the window. She peered out and saw the
man, recognizing him with great surprise.
\u201cWhat are you doing here, Lenny?\u201d she said. \u201cWhat do you want?\u201d
\u201cI want my money. I need it now,\u201d he said.
\u201cWhat are you talking about?\u201d she asked.
\u201cThe money for the abortion, the $400 I lent you,\u201d he said.
Monica was stunned.
\u201cThat was over twenty years ago,\u201d she said. \u201cGo away, my students will arrive any
moment.\u201d
\u201cNot until you promise to meet me,\u201d he said. \u201cI need that money. Pay up or else!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cGet away from me,\u201d she said, and slammed down the window.
The students were now trickling into the classroom, taking their seats and opening their
books. Monica walked back to the front of the room. She was a slim, good-looking
woman in her mid-forties, with jet -black hair and just a touch of grey at the temples.
She was quite shaken by seeing the man from her past. She felt all stirred up and even
afraid. Still, she tried to conduct her class as if this was just any normal day.
Monica finished the lesson, though not with her usual flourish. As the students filed
noisily out of the classroom, she realized just how dead tired she felt.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It seemed she never had much energy left these days after meeting her young
students. At home she had two teenage children and was separated from their father.
Money was tight and it all weighed on her. And now, she had Lenny to contend with.
Lenny, meanwhile, went back to his car. He was disappointed but not defeated. He
would find a way to get his money back. He was staying at a sketchy motel on the
highway and went there to regroup and plan his next interaction with Monica.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
They had been lovers in their early twenties. When she got pregnant everything had
shifted. He started drinking heavily and she doubted he would make a good father. He
gave her the money for the abortion, but never really agreed with her decision to
terminate the pregnancy. Now, especially, he felt it had been a mistake. Never again
had he had the opportunity to become a father and he regretted it. Surely, she should
be made to pay for his sense of loss.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Monica, on the other hand, fully accepted the abortion. Although difficult, it had been
the right decision for her. She had continued her career, and eventually met a man with
whom she could plan a future and start a family. She never told her husband about the
abortion. Their difficulties in the last few years were nothing she could solve, but they\u2019d
dealt with them with the fewest possible negative consequences for the children.
That night, her husband Dave picked up the kids for their swimming lessons. They
were standing just inside the door of the apartment, in the foyer. In the dim light, he<\/p>\n\n\n\n
noticed that she seemed to be upset. When he asked her about it, she said it was<\/p>\n\n\n\n
nothing and shooed them out the door.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The next morning Lenny was at the entrance of the school when Monica arrived. She
tried to avoid him but he pushed up close to her.
\u201cWe had something good back then,\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019m single now and so are you. We
could try again.\u201d
\u201cAre you out of your mind?\u201d she said. \u201cAnd besides, I\u2019m not single, just separated. It\u2019s
not the same thing.\u201d
He leaned against her, pushing her away from the door she was trying to enter. With
his greater weight, it was easy to push her off course.
\u201cI want my money,\u201d he said. \u201cAnd I won\u2019t be leaving town until I get it.\u201d
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Monica swerved deftly around him and reached the door. She was breathless. She
said nothing more and continued to her classroom where she tried to keep it together
while teaching American history classes for the rest of the day.
Later, when she had a free moment, she re-lived the incident in the morning and felt
frightened. He had tried to assault her and she felt angry and fearful. Worrying, she
wondered if she was going to have to call the police to keep Lenny away. But in her
exhaustion, she didn\u2019t do anything.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
On the weekend when her husband Dave came to pick up the kids, he again noticed
that she was a bit off. They were standing in the driveway when he asked her again
what was going on. She decided to fill him in, he seemed to know her so well. \u201cA man I used to know is bothering me\u201d, she told him. \u201cHe says I owe him $400, and I
don\u2019t have that kind of money.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dave looked puzzled and asked what the money was for.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Monica sighed.\u201cWell, we were an item in our early twenties. I got pregnant and he paid for the abortion,\u201d she explained. \u201cIt seems he\u2019s never forgiven me. And now he wants his
money back.\u201d
Dave looked away. \u201cWhy did you never tell me about this?\u201d
\u201cI\u2019m not sure,\u201d she said. \u201cIt was in the past and I wanted to keep it there.\u201d
\u201cWere you afraid I would judge you?\u201d he asked.
\u201cMaybe.\u201d
Dave looked at her, his eyes full of understanding. He said he didn\u2019t judge her but
would rather have known about the situation.
\u201cIt\u2019s not your fault,\u201d he said. \u201cThese things happen, especially when we\u2019re young.\u201d
\u201cI never thought I\u2019d have to see him again.\u201d
\u201cLet me give you the money and let\u2019s get rid of him, once and for all,\u201d Dave said. He
was hoping to draw her closer and maybe heal their six-month separation. He\u2019d found
it brutal to be on his own and he still loved Monica. The separation had never been his
idea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Monica said she wasn\u2019t sure that Dave paying him off was a good plan. She said she
wanted to think about it for a day or two.
\u201cLet\u2019s talk again when you bring back the kids on Sunday,\u201d she said. \u201cAnd not a word
to them about this, okay?\u201d
\u201cYes, fine. See you on Sunday. But if he tries to contact you again,\u201d said Dave,
brandishing a fist, \u201cmake sure to call me.\u201d
She nodded and stepped back into the house.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Later that night she heard a knock at her door. She was not expecting anyone,
especially after 10 pm. She went to the front door and looked through the peephole. It
was Lenny. Oh crap, she thought, this is all I need. She felt some trepidation at seeing
him again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She considered not opening the door, but he was insistent, banging loudly. She
wondered if he was drunk.
\u201cGo away, Lenny,\u201d she said through the door.
\u201cNo! I\u2019m not leaving until you pay up.\u201d
\u201cI don\u2019t have that kind of money,\u201d she said. \u201cLeave me alone.\u201d
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He pounded on the door, making a racket. Monica was afraid it would disturb the
neighbors. She opened the door just an inch. Lenny pushed hard, broke the latch and
Monica was knocked off-balance. He slithered through the open crack and grabbed
her by the shoulders. Before she knew it, he was pressing hard against her, trying to
feel her body all over.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cStop it!\u201d she cried.
But he continued to take advantage of her, licking at her ears and grabbing her crotch
aggressively. He groped at her as she tried to push him off.
She reached for the heavy ceramic bookend on the shelving unit by the door and
knocked him hard on the side of the head. Lenny slumped to the floor.
Monica was shaking, and crying. Lenny was writhing at her feet, blood trickling from
his forehead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She ran to the kitchen and called the police.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Lenny was still unconscious when they arrived. Tearfully, she described the attack and
his demand for money. The police told her she had been smart to call them and they
heaved Lenny out the door and into the back of the squad car. Monica was left alone
on her front porch, under a dimly lit sky.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She was angry at herself for not calling the police from school the other day. She felt
ashamed that Lenny\u2019s intense desperation hadn\u2019t fully registered with her. There had
been reason to feel afraid and she\u2019d missed the clues.
It wasn\u2019t until about midnight that she finally called Dave to tell him what had
happened. She\u2019d had a brandy and a bath to try and calm herself down but was still
very upset. Dave was livid when she told him about Lenny.
\u201cWho does he think he is?\u201d said Dave. \u201cHe was trying to rape you, damnit!\u201d
\u201cI know,\u201d said Monica. \u201cIt was terribly frightening.\u201d
\u201cAre the police going to keep him?\u201d asked Dave.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d she said.
\u201cWell I don\u2019t like the fact that you\u2019re alone in the house,\u201d said Dave. \u201cI\u2019m bringing the
kids home and I\u2019ll sleep on the couch downstairs for tonight.\u201d
\u201cI don\u2019t think that\u2019s necessary,\u201d said Monica. She wondered why he was so insistent.
Was he trying to show that he was indispensable, that they needed to get back
together for her safety?
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But Dave wouldn\u2019t take no for an answer and hung up the phone.
When he arrived about thirty minutes later, the sleepy kids in tow, he found Monica
sitting in the living room. She was still visibly shaken.
After he had settled the kids in their bedrooms, Dave came downstairs and sat next to
Monica on the couch. He tried to cozy up to her but she demurred.
\u201cDave, that\u2019s not what I want or need,\u201d she said. \u201cThank you for coming over, but we\u2019re
not starting up again over this.\u201d
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He was disappointed and retreated to the other side of the sofa.
\u201cYou can\u2019t go on like this,\u201d he said. \u201cYou were already burning out at school and now
with this…it\u2019s too much. What are you going to do?\u201d
\u201cYou\u2019re right. I can\u2019t take much more of this,\u201d she said. \u201cI\u2019ll call the police station
tomorrow morning to find out what they are doing with Lenny,\u201d she said. \u201cI\u2019ll charge him
with attempted rape if I have to. Hopefully they\u2019ve kept him overnight.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dave finally agreed to that course of action. Monica brought him some sheets and a
blanket and they said goodnight.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In the morning, Monica asked Dave if he still thought paying Lenny off would get rid of
him. Dave said he wasn\u2019t sure, but that it was worth a try. After the kids left for school,
they headed down to the police station together.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Across town at the municipal building where the police were stationed, things were just
humming. Monica and Dave found a long line-up at reception. They took a number and
sat off to the side with other community residents. After an hour or so, they were seen
by an intake officer.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Monica explained the events of the last few days, highlighting the attempted rape the
night before. She asked if Lenny was being held in custody. The officer listened but
appeared somewhat distracted. Finally, he looked at the computer and told them that
Lenny had been discharged that morning.
\u201cWe didn\u2019t have enough to go on,\u201d said the officer. \u201cSo we let him go.\u201d
Monica was enraged. She could hardly contain her anger. Dave stepped in to ask why
the police hadn\u2019t called Monica for more information before letting Lenny leave. But the
officer didn\u2019t have much to add and instead asked for the next person to come
forward.
Monica had to be at work for her first class at 11:00 am so they hurried to the parking
lot and agreed to speak later that evening.
She was at the school in no time. She picked up her mail in the office and went to her
classroom where she continued her lesson about slavery during the American Civil
War.
Later, she realized that inside she felt like a soldier in her own war drama. What would
she do now that Lenny was out and about? Who could tell what his next step might be?
She did not feel safe or reassured by the officer she\u2019d spoken with that morning. She<\/p>\n\n\n\n
decided that she needed to go and confide in her boss, the principal, and then take a
few days off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Principal Herman listened carefully and agreed Monica should take the remainder of
the week off, to try and settle the situation. He was aware that student safety could be
at risk if a dangerous man was allowed to lurk near the school.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That night she spoke to Dave on the phone. He offered to track Lenny down and pay
him off in the hope that it would push him to leave town. Monica agreed, and said she
would pay him back the $400 when she could. Although she didn\u2019t want to have to rely
on Dave for anything, it just wasn\u2019t worth living in fear of Lenny\u2019s arrival at her door
step. She thanked him and said goodbye.
Just then, the doorbell rang.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Monica stood by the door for a moment, listening. She worried that it might be Lenny,
looking for more trouble. Never in her life had she felt in this much danger, but she
would not succumb. She felt her strength, through the fear. She sighed and turned off
the porch light before making her way up the stairs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n<\/p>\n\n\n
Miriam Edelson is a neurodivergent social activist, settler, writer and mother living in Toronto, Canada. Her literary non-fiction, personal essays and commentaries have appeared in The Globe and Mail, Toronto Star, various literary journals including Dreamers Magazine, Collective Unrest, Writing Disorder, Palabras, Wilderness House Literary Review<\/em> and on CBC Radio. She was a finalist in both the Pen 2 Paper nonfiction contest and the Women on Writing<\/em> contest. Her first book, My Journey with Jake: A Memoir of Parenting and Disability<\/em> was published in April 2000. Battle Cries: Justice for Kids with Special Needs a<\/em>ppeared in late 2005. She completed a doctorate in 2016 at University of Toronto focused upon Mental Health in the Workplace. The Swirl in my Burl,<\/em> her collection of essays, is forthcoming in June 2022. She lives with and manages the mental health challenges related to bipolar disorder.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Monica heard a strange sound while preparing for her grade 11 history class. She wassitting in her classroom, the students\u2019 desks still empty. There was a clattering, anincessant tapping, at the bay of windows to her right. She looked over but sawnothing. Outside, a man was tossing pebbles at the class window, trying to [&hellip<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6787,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[336],"class_list":["post-12505","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-creative-nonfictionmemoir","tag-blue-woman-by-barry-scanlon"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/narrativenortheast.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12505","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/narrativenortheast.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/narrativenortheast.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/narrativenortheast.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/narrativenortheast.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=12505"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/narrativenortheast.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12505\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12584,"href":"https:\/\/narrativenortheast.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12505\/revisions\/12584"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/narrativenortheast.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/6787"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/narrativenortheast.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=12505"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/narrativenortheast.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=12505"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/narrativenortheast.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=12505"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}